We Always Question God Why?

My life always seems to have its ups and downs, starting ever since I was a baby..........

• In the beginning of my life, I was diagnosed with cancer at 15 months old. 
• When my middle school years came around, I had no friends. I was known as the "Quiet Girl". I would sit by myself at lunch everyday until my 8th grade year when they built a new school and I had to transfer there. I made lots of friends but once that year was over, all of us were heading off to different high schools.
• In high school I became the quiet girl again. I made most of my friends in band. If I ever talked, it was only around them.
• I met a guy my freshman year in math. His name was Devon. He was the first guy to ever show interest in me. We started dating even though my parents didn't agree with it. For one, they thought I was too young to date and two, he didn't believe in God at all. We were off and on all throughout high school. He just kept breaking my heart but I still always went running back to him. 
• We were broken up for only a week, my junior year, when I heard he got with some girl sexually. I was so broken, especially since I was still struggling with friends, plus my dad(who I am so close to) was deployed for the second time overseas. Things became so overwhelming that I decided to sneak out of school early. When I got home I ended up overdosing on Tylenol. You might think I was stupid, and I was, but I just couldn't take the pain of life anymore. My mom and sister ended up rushing me to the E.R. I was fine after everything was flushed out but sadly, my heart was still so broken.
• Devon joined the Army after he graduated. We got back together despite everything. I had shirts that said "Army Girlfriend" and we each had a dog tag with our picture on it that said "forever". Our relationship ended when he came home to visit from his duty station in Germany. It was because I found out he had been talking to other girls behind my back. Something finally clicked in me that I needed to move on and fine someone who treated me right.
• After I graduated, I ended up going to Charleston Southern University in South Carolina. I'm studying to become a nurse on pediatric oncology. I met a guy named Zack my first week through friends of my roommate Sammie. He was so sweet and believed in God. He treated me with respect, opening the door and paying when we went out, plus he accepted me for my past. The one thing that amazed me, was that he always made sure he would pray before every meal. I wasn't use to being around a guy that did all of that. I also fell in love with his family. His mom treated me as if I was her own daughter. After a month of dating, problems started arising. He would get jealous easily, and he let his anger and life struggles get the best of him, taking it all out on me. I was hurt by the things he would say and do. After taking time to get to know each other first before we dated, I never expected this would be the outcome. I fell in love with him hard and he became my best friend. It's been so hard to let go especially when I see him around campus. I pray for him every day though because I know he could be the most amazing guy ever if he just worked through all the life issues he's facing. 
• Over winter break my sister got married. Her husband is in the Army and stationed in Oklahoma. We have always been like best friends, so her moving so far away from home was the toughest thing I have ever had to face.

Well this has been all the crazy, hectic things that have happened in my life so far. I have cried many tears, more than I should have within my first 18 years of life. My question has always been "Why God?". The answer to that question is, God didn't cause all of these problems in my life but he did allow them to happen to see if I would stay strong and lean on him. I know I have failed at trusting God through all my circumstances, but now I am trying to turn my life around and grow closer to him. God has shown me that I can use everything that I have been through to minister to people that are struggling with the same situations.

So this is why I am starting a blog called "Dear Love". If you're facing some tough life struggles just message me and I'll be happy to help and give the best possible advice I can give to you. I was given the middle name "Love" for a reason, and I believe that is to love everyone no matter what.

I leave you with the most important advice I could ever give and that is GIVE ALL YOUR WORRIES AND PROBLEMS TO GOD.....HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN IF YOU JUST TRUST AND BELIEVE!